WHY AM I NOT STAYING AT THE RITZ IN MIAMI ?

OK, so i'm in Miami and so is Fernando Torres.  Just in case you don't know, Fernando is the hotter, younger, better version of David Beckham. Also, Fernando is the one who scored a first-half goal to defeat Germany 1-0 in the recent UEFA cup.  He's been on my radar ever since my friend, and Pierre's sister, Liz introduced him to me as a player on Spanish club team Atletico Madrid and then as he transitioned into playing for Liverpool.

Here are actual stalker pictures of Fernando at the pool at the Ritz enjoying a hot dog and reading a magazine. See, hot soccer players are just like regular people. It's kind of sick I'm even writing about this. I must point out the head band. That's a European boy thing. I think its hot!