COVER STORY... EVA LONGORIA PARKER

Looking cute as a button, Mrs. Parker on the cover of November 2008's Allure. Eva talks to Allure about all those rumors in her life.  She claims that she is not preggers, she just got rounder.  OK, whatever that means.  She continues to say that she never got bigger; she's still a size 0. Yesss, I knew she was still a size 0!  GOGOGO. Way to keep those real desperate house wives even more depressed.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO STILL CARE...

Do people still watch this show? I didn't even know it was on the air. I only care about this because for some reason I don't like Nicolette Sheridan. For no real reason other then I have this feeling she might be a really big bitch in real life . So with that being said, I had her kicked off ABC's forgotten show Desperate Housewives. That's right, I have that kind of power. I called creator Marc Cherry and he confirmed this to the Associated Press.

“Yes, Edie’s gone. She won’t be back for a few years.”

Who should I remove next?